Today, I am excited to bring you Trisha and Elias’ story. They’ve been through a lot together – 3 heartbreaking IVF cycles and are about to start another. Through the heartbreak, Trisha was able to do something amazing, self-publish her first poetry book! Read their story below and find the link to her book at the very bottom.
My name is Trisha, 26 and my husband’s is Elias, 29. We have been together for 6 years and married for 3. I am currently a Crisis Counselor and his is a Service Tech for a drug testing facility. We are both in school. I am four classes away from completing my Masters in Health Administration and Elias is working on his Bachelors in Criminal Justice. We are both very passionate about schooling and want to build our foundation there.
We have been TTC for about 5 years now. I always had an irregular period but I did not think anything of it. I still thought that I would be able to get pregnant. We first tried doing away with condoms and just going with the flow. After about a year of that I knew something was wrong. I talked to my OBGYN and they prescribed Clomid. We did
6 rounds of that and nothing. I decided to talk to my PCP whom I actually worked for at the time as his front office staff. He recommended me having a HSG done to take a look at my ovaries and my tubes. Let me tell you that had to be the worst pain of my life. I knew the instant they saw the X-rays that something was wrong. I was right. My tubes
were blocked. I remember crying so hard and not knowing what to tell my husband. I remember telling myself that I was a failure. I took some time after this. I just continued to work and busy myself. After about 6 months Elias and I talked about seeing a Reproductive Specialist.
As soon as our first appointment it was made clear that we would have to undergo IVF. This all started in July of 2017. We decided quickly that we did not want to lose anymore time. August 1st, 2017 was the day we started this journey. We picked up my medication and started what has been the most emotional roller coaster of our lives. With the Stims
everything went great. I had little to any side effects. on August 14th. 2017 I went in to have my eggs extracted. We came out with 14 eggs. 7 fertilized. 5 made it to Blastocysts. We had all 5 genetically tested and 4 out of 5 were normal. 4 boys and 1 girl
(the girl was abnormal).
On November 1st, 2017 we transferred my first little love. A boy. I was so impatient that I tested starting DPT 3. By the 6th day I was getting a faint positive. Could this be real life? My beta came back strong and we were uttered the words congratulations. I never thought we would get here. I spent the next 3 weeks loving on myself. Elias would talk to my belly every single night. It was a dream come true…
Until it wasn’t. I started getting pains in my left side. I was worried and went to see my doctor. When he decided to do an intrauterine ultrasound the first thing I noticed was how rude he was being. He had never been that way. He was also very rough when he inserted the wand. It hurt so bad. He said look there is the baby you are measuring 5 weeks and 5 days, You see the flutters of the heart beginning to form. He gave me a picture and sent me on my way. Later that night I had just taken a shower and was drying up when I saw blood all over my towel. I instantly began to cry. I knew
what was happening. I called 911. I knew there was not anything they could do but I needed to get to the hospital. Once at the hospital I remember my husband silently praying. My parents silently praying and thinking that will this much prayer I would be okay. that we would be okay. I remember them doing an ultrasound and saying that everything looked okay and for me to rest. My doctor had told me to come in the next morning to check everything. We went and as he was checking he said ” I am sorry Trish, the baby is detached and at the entrance. I am going to have them test it to see what went wrong.
I remember feeling numb. I cried all the way home. How could this be happening? After a week I went in to see the doctor again. I was desperate to start again.
We decided on Jan 11th, 2018 we would do a second transfer. My beta was negative. Again we were devastated. I did not want to stop. In secret we decided March 30th, 2017 we would transfer another. I got a negative beta once again. Why was this happening?
We are now in August and our wounds are fresh. It comes in waves. It comes in and crashes us. We have great days and then we have horrible days.
I decided that we needed a new experience and a new doctor. I wanted a fresh take on things. This friday August 17th,2018 we have a second opinion
with a new doctor. I hope that this time is different. We hope that they will have more compassion and not directly correlate my weight to all the “problems”.
I have taken this time for myself and in that process I did what I did not think I would ever do. I published my first book. A book of poetry named Beaten Soul.
It is available on Kindle and Paperback on Amazon. This book means so much to me because it refocused me. It refocused my purpose and gave me a reason to
continue this journey.
If I could lend any advice to my fellow Infertility Warriors it would be this:
Do not underestimate your strength. You may not understand now but you were made for this. We each have our own inner demons but know that if and when the time is right it will all be worth it. Whatever steps you take. Whatever mountains you face you can get through them in your own way.The needles, the hormones, timed cycles, the surgeries, the heart break, the endless POAS. It is our journey and we are not alone.
If you ever feel that you are, I am always here.
To find her book, click here