Alyssa and Jake

I really enjoy when fellow infertility sisters write in to share their stories! It shows that even though our journey to parenthood may look different, we are all fighting for the same thing – a family! Tonight, Alyssa shares their journey to parenthood as well as some wonderful words of encouragement! Read below, for their full story.

Hello! My name is Alyssa & my husband name is Jake. We have been together since 2014 and got married in September of 2017. Jake and I met at a bar (so typical) but its funny because he was at a bachelor party and I totally crashed it- it was a great time J When Jake and I got engaged in 2016, we started talking kids. I knew I wanted to start trying right after we got married. Here we are, a year and a half later, embarking on our greatest adventure yet, IVF.

We have done it all, Clomid cycles, Letrozole cycles, Letrozole & trigger shot cycles and after our first trigger, we actually got pregnant! Unfortunately, we miscarried at 6 weeks and my cycles were in a complete funk after that which led to a cancelled cycle and 2 failed IUI’s. After our second failed IUI, I lost it. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I needed something more. I knew that my body needed some more of a push. We decided t go to an IVF consult for a clinic that had outstanding reviews. After that day, I knew I wanted to do IVF- I would rather put my money on a better chance than throwing money away on a 15% chance. The next day, I called the clinic and we got set up for a March IVF cycle.

Infertility has taught me so much in such a short amount of time. It taught me patience, because lets me real, your girl has NONE! It taught me that you have to advocate for yourself NO MATTER WHAT, even if other people try to tell you that you are jumping the gun. You know your body better than anyone, so stand up for it. Infertility will either make you or break you. Don’t let it break you… let it build you. Let it help you find your strength. Infertility is part of your story, and that’s ok.

Sarah and Eric

Today, I am so excited to share Sarah and Eric’s story! They have been through a lot in their 7 years together. After struggling with infertility, they were blessed with their son Leo. Now, Sarah and Eric are battling infertility again. March is endometriosis awareness month and I’m so thankful that Sarah was willing to open up and talk about her struggles with this terrible disease. They have endured a lot on this tough journey, but through it all have come out stronger. Sarah shares some wonderful words of encouragement for others facing this hard road. Read on below to hear their full story!

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Our story starts off like every story you’ve ever heard. Girl meets boy, they fall in love and live happily ever after. Eric and I met in 2012 while he was stationed in North Carolina serving in the US Army. 6 months later we were married and trying to conceive basically right away. We dreamt of a big family; 3 to 4 kids, little feet echoing in our hallways, long nights, big Christmases and lots of grand babies. This is where our story is different. I have endometriosis. Endometriosis affects 1 in 10 women. Endo is tissue similar to uterine lining that grows outside of the uterus. It attaches to your organs, causing scarring, cysts, lesions, adhesions, immense pain and in many cases, infertility. It has been named one of the top 20 most painful medical conditions. From the very beginning Eric was witness to the pain I experienced caused by endo. He sat by my side as I cried in a hot bath, held me while I curled up in the fetal position, watched helplessly as I paced the house. He was amazing through it all and jumped in head first when we realized after 6 months of trying to conceive that maybe we should talk to a Dr.

In the fall of 2013, I experienced my first early miscarriage, or chemical pregnancy. We had 2 days. That’s it. 2 days knowing there was a baby growing inside me. That seems so insignificant but to me, it was everything. I had a million plans already for this baby. Then suddenly I wasn’t pregnant anymore. It was then we decided that it was time for me to have my second laparoscopic surgery to remove endometriosis. After surgery we did 3 rounds of  Clomid, 4 rounds of Femara under my OB’s care. In the fall of 2014 we reached out to a Reproductive Endocrinologist and got on the path toward more aggressive forms of fertility treatment. After what felt like 100 vials of blood, 50 tests and countless closed doors I had yet another surgery to remove fibroids that were found inside my uterus. We also discovered that both my tubes were completely blocked. This hit me like a train. I cried for days. I screamed at the heavens. I begged and pleaded with God. This left us with exactly one option – IVF.

We moved forward with our first IVF cycle in January 2015. We retrieved 14 mature eggs and after 2 days, only 2 had fertilized. We transferred those 2 and prayed, prayed, prayed. I did everything right. I stopped drinking coffee, I ate ALL THE PINEAPPLE, drank warm fluids, wore thick socks, increased my protein, took all the right vitamins and supplements… in the end none of that mattered. I had my second early miscarriage. I lived in a traumatizing limbo as I repeated blood work, just to watch my numbers drop and miscarry these babies. All those plans, dreams and hopes, gone again.

This is when I found the infertility community on Instagram. These women rallied behind me, encouraged me, prayed for me, gave me tips and pointers, educated me, they became my tribe. Along with some close friends, they gave me the confidence to attempt another round of IVF. This time we would be more aggressive, we would do every “add-on” to make sure we had stronger, healthier and more embryos. But we were broke after our first round. We did what any desperate person does, shared our story publicly online. We created a donation page in the hopes we’d maybe get a couple hundred dollars donated to us. I still tear up thinking about this time of our journey. We didn’t get hundreds, we got THOUSANDS. I sobbed every time a donation came in. I still get chills thinking about it. We had this massive support system and everyone we knew was in our corner. It was truly life changing.

On June 6, 2015 we transferred 2 of our 6 embryos. We froze 4 and prayed over our 2 babies inside me. 2 weeks later, we got the call every infertile couple dreams of. We were pregnant. WE WERE PREGNANT! I sobbed. I called my parents & my best friends. We rushed to CVS to buy pregnancy tests to see it with our own eyes. The word “Pregnant” popped up instantly. My heart was overflowing with gratitude – to God, to our AMAZING Doctors, to our family and friends. I knew within my heart this time was different. And it was. On February 23, 2016, right on his due date, we welcomed our son.The entire room teared up as they placed him on my chest. Leo was born with a full head of black hair and was absolutely perfect. He was the easiest baby, laid back, took to breastfeeding like a champ and happy as can be. He is still the happiest kid, smart, silly and incredibly sensitive and in tune to his and others emotions. He amazes us every single day.

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When Leo was born I felt like I had beat infertility. I had won. I felt like a warrior, a survivor, I wanted to scream it from the roof tops that infertility could be overcome. I still feel that way, but things have changed as we are now battling infertility once again. In the fall of 2017 we thawed and transferred 2 of our 4 embryos. We lost our other 2 in the thaw process. The cycle failed. No early miscarriage, nothing, just a fail. All at once the emotions of infertility came rushing back. It’s almost like I had forgotten just how gut wrenching and awful this all is. As if the failed cycle wasn’t enough, my endometriosis pain came back with a vengeance.

We started seeing an endometriosis specialist with the Cleveland Clinic. He felt confident he could not only remove endo but clear my tubes. I had my fourth surgery for endo in April 2018 and had almost instant relief from the severe pain I had been experiencing. During surgery they removed and biopsied a complex cyst from my ovary. It ended up being pre-cancerous. Now I was faced with the decision to go back and remove that ovary or have quarterly scans with an oncologist to monitor it. I chose not to go forward with surgery knowing we were going to continue to try to conceive. Our Dr. encouraged us to try naturally for 6 months so we did just that. After 6 months we ran more tests, did more blood work and did a round of IUI. I think I knew all along IUI wouldn’t work but I felt like we had to give it a shot. Sure enough, our IUI failed. Now we are back at square one. We don’t know what to do going forward and I have found myself in a strange place in the infertility community; not sure where I belong. Sometimes I feel selfish praying for a second child. I am careful with my words, cautious not to hurt someone who is grieving and still praying for their first child. My heart is so full being a Mom to Leo, he is everything I ever wanted and more but I know in my heart I am not done having babies.

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When we first started sharing our story, it was so freeing. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders and called to be a voice for the silent. I would not be ashamed of my disease or infertility diagnosis anymore. It is intimidating and scary to be so vulnerable, but I have had so many friends, family members and strangers reach out to me for advice and information on endometriosis, infertility and treatment. Because of that, I will never stop sharing our story and being a voice of hope and encouragement in this community. Infertility has taken away so much from me. But it has given me more: irreplaceable friendships, renewed faith in God and strength and courage I never knew I possessed.

If you are struggling with endometriosis or infertility, you are not alone. I encourage you to advocate for yourself and to find your own tribe. I don’t know what I would have done without mine.

Abby and Reid Update 3/5/19

I’m so excited to write this update post on Abby and Reid! Back in August, Abby wrote a guest post on our blog talking about their struggles with infertility and also Reid’s health. Excitingly, Abby and Reid have had a lot of blessings in the last 6 months! If you remember the post, they were ready to start their final round of IVF. They were also still actively searching and praying for a liver for Reid.

Today, I am happy to update that their third and final round of IVF was successful! Abby is now currently pregnant at 28 weeks with twins! Abby is on bedrest and the pregnancy has been good. However, any pregnancy after experiencing loss comes with anxiety which can be really hard. Abby and Reid are so thankful for the two miracles they have growing!

Also, I am so excited to share that they have found a liver for Reid! Reid was blessed with direct liver donation in January. It was a success! Reid is recovering nicely and his body is accepting the liver. Reid should be in great shape just in time for their babies to arrive!

Throughout this journey, their motto was “expect miracles” and that is exactly what they got! Their story is an amazing example of faith and hope through the difficult trials in life. Continue to pray for Reid’s recovery and for Abby as they draw near to the end of their pregnancy.

Don’t forget to follow Abby and Reid on Instagram @waiting4ourmiracle and on their blog: www.impatientlywaitingforourmiracle.com and grayliverdonation.com

Watch the amazing story from their local news station here: https://abc13.com/health/man-fighting-liver-disease-gets-uh-students-gift-of-life/5084899/

Abby and Reid

Abby and Reid’s have endured a lot on this journey to a baby and my heart goes out to them with all they have been through. After multiple rounds of IVF and four losses, they are preparing for their final FET. In the midst of their struggles with infertility, Abby and Reid have endured another whole level of stress. Reid was diagnosed with two auto-immune chronic illnesses, Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis (PSC) and Ulcerative Colitis (UC). He is now listed for a liver transplant in two states, and are hoping for two more. His doctor believes he has cancer in the bile ducts (cholangiocarcinoma), but this particular cancer is very hard to detect. Abby and Reid have endured so much on this journey. As a community, lets gather around them and offer support, encouragement and prayer as they continue pressing on in their journey to parenthood and to get Reid a new liver. To read more on Reid’s fight for a liver and how you can help, the site is listed at the very bottom. Read on to hear Abby and Reid’s full story.

 

My husband, Reid, and I met in April of 2011. A mutual friend of ours actually set us up on a blind date, a first for both of us. We met for “drinks” and four hours later we had eaten a full meal and realized the restaurant was closing down! We married in March of 2014, and live in the Houston area with our dog, Wrigley.

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In August of 2014, we began trying for a family. I was 29, and was afraid we’d have some struggles getting pregnant, as my mom had two miscarriages prior to having me. Nine (seemingly long) months later, we got our first ever positive pregnancy test. We were thrilled. Within 24 hours of that pregnancy test, we gave our parents gifts that I had purchased months prior to announce to them that we were (finally) pregnant. Two weeks later, I was in the ER and they explained that we were having an ectopic
pregnancy. My fallopian tube had ruptured and was bleeding into my abdomen. We were crushed. I was rushed into emergency surgery and had my left fallopian tube, and the embryo, removed. The next 15 months were brutal. We kept trying, we were mourning the loss of our first pregnancy, and I was getting more and more sad and feeling more and more alone. Of course during that time, all of my friends were
getting pregnant.

My gynecologist finally agreed it was time to see a fertility specialist. We ran tests and learned that I had very low AMH, which means my egg reserve was quite low. Our doctor recommended going straight to in vitro fertilization (IVF), as he suspected that’s where we’d end up. We started preparing for the process, and planned to start our first round of IVF on July 22nd , 2016.

On July 21st , I woke up not feeling right, so I took a pregnancy test. I had done this every month for the last almost two years, so I fully expected it to be negative. But it wasn’t. We were pregnant again. The day before our first round of IVF. This was a sign from God, right? Over the next few weeks, we went in for blood work often and got to see the baby growing during a weekly ultrasound. There were some small things along the way that were scary, but the baby continued to grow and we kept adding extra hormones to support it. We were sure this was our healthy baby. And then at 9 ½ weeks, I went in for the weekly ultrasound. Our doctor said the words no woman ever wants to hear, “I’m sorry, there’s no longer a heartbeat.” I couldn’t believe it. We had just announced to our family the Sunday before. That was a rough one to come back from. I don’t think I’ve ever been so low.
Three cycles (four months) later, we were pregnant again. Within a few weeks, we learned that pregnancy was not viable. Both of the last two losses showed chromosomal abnormalities with the embryo. And while it was good to have some answers, we were feeling so defeated as we mourned our 3rd pregnancy loss. We spent the next few months trying on our own, and then we started our first IVF cycle in September
of 2017. Our first round resulted in two embryos, both chromosomally abnormal. Same for the second cycle. The third cycle (May/June 2018) we decided to scrap the PGS (chromosome) testing, as each abnormality was completely different and we hoped there might be an issue with the testing. With that cycle, we did a fresh transfer of two embryos which resulted in a chemical pregnancy (a very early miscarriage). Pregnancy loss – 4, Healthy pregnancies – 0. Fortunately, we also had two frozen embryos
from the 3 rd round. We went straight into a frozen embryo transfer, which was unsuccessful. And now we are prepping for our (likely final) frozen embryo transfer. We are praying that this last embryo is healthy, and is our “take-home” baby.

Infertility is hard. It wears you down. It makes you feel alone and isolated. It breaks your heart over and over again.
In the midst of our fight for a family, my husband was diagnosed with two auto-immune chronic illnesses, Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis (PSC) and Ulcerative Colitis (UC). He is now listed for a liver transplant in two states, and we are working on two more. His doctor believes he has cancer in the bile ducts (cholangiocarcinoma), but this particular cancer is very hard to detect. Therefore, we are fighting tooth and nail for a new liver for him. As you can imagine, this has added to the stress of infertility. But we refuse to give up, and are hopeful that our miracles are just around the corner.

In January of 2017, I started sharing our story via blogging, and the amount of support that has come from that has amazed me. We are constantly trying to see the good in our situation, and our support system is the best. If you are fighting through similar struggles, I encourage you to share your story. I encourage you to confide in those you trust and help to educate them on what you need and how they can help. Let those that love you support you.
To learn more about our story, or to follow along, visit my blog at:
http://www.impatientlywaitingforourmiracle.com.

More information regarding our fight for a liver can be found at: https://grayliverdonation.com/.

Carrie and Andy’s Story

Today, I am so excited to share Carrie and Andy’s story! They have been through a lot on their infertility journey- IUI’s, IVF, Several FET’s and Embryo adoption. They are gearing up for a final FET. Carrie and Andy have a big heart for children and while waiting for their own miracle, have been fostering infants. Carrie is such a wonderful inspiration to me, and a big advocate for foster care. Foster care parents are so desperately needed and is one of the most rewarding and selfless things you can do. If you are interested in foster care or have additional questions, follow her over at @teambabymeadows . Their incredible story of perseverance is below.

 

My name is Carrie Meadows and my husband is Andy. We’ve been married two and a half years. We met on a blind date… well, sort of. I was tutoring a 3 rd grader at the time and his dad wanted me to meet someone that he worked with (my now husband). It was NOT love at first sight but a few dates and I was smitten! My husband is 15 years older than me and I have two wonderful stepsons that have since moved out. One is still in college and the other is an Engineer with SpaceX. My husband and I live in a very cute little town near Tampa. It’s very much like Mayberry or better yet….Cheers, everyone
knows your name and is very family oriented town. We have a great and supportive group of friends and we both have our parents nearby. We love sporting events but our favorite hobby is attending concerts! Our future kid’s names will certainly be the names of famous rockers.

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Andy and I got married when I was 34 years old and we planned to begin trying for a family right away. We did have one major hurdle to jump prior to beginning our baby making process. My husband needed a vasectomy reversal. Bless his heart for loving me so much to endure this surgery for me. Andy had this surgery and had a healing time of six weeks and then a sperm check, which he passed with flying colors! Not only did he have sperm, he had a lot, and excellent morphology. I thought for sure I would be pregnant in no time. Boy, was I wrong! After a few months of trying, with ovulation kits, I
began to think we had a problem. I made an appointment with a highly recommended fertility doctor in the Tampa Bay area. We began the process of Clomid/Fermera with timed intercourse. My husband loved “trying to conceive Carrie!” After a few months of no luck, we moved to IUI’s. Our first two were a bust but our 3rd we got pregnant! I was THRILLED! I told my family and friends right away. I had a positive beta, though low, but I was PREGNANT! Unfortunately, my next beta was lower yet and I was informed I was experiencing a chemical pregnancy. I had never even heard of that before. I was later
told I had a chemical likely due to egg quality. So, we decided to try another IUI. We did our 4th with no success.

At this point I was frustrated and wanted to move right to IVF. I KNEW I could get pregnant with IVF. Once again I was wrong. We began our first cycle only to get canceled due to hurricane Irma. We began our second cycle! At 36, I had 11 eggs retrieved, nine mature, and eight were fertilized through ICSI. By day five I was down to just three embryo blasts, one of which was not great quality. Due to my age, we decided to send them off to be PGS tested. That wait was beyond agonizing. When the call came in with our results I was at work (I’m a teacher) thankfully with no kids at the time. We had zero normal blasts. All abnormal. All missing one or more chromosomes from me. I was devastated. I cried so hard in my classroom I could barely breathe. My hopes and dreams of a child shattered around me. I was numb and fell into a deep depression.

Once I got over the initial shock, we met with our doctor and he concluded I perhaps had some sort of chromosome defect and if we cycled again I could likely have the same result. I began to deny it. I sought out a second opinion of another doctor two hours away. This doctor said the same thing. I was beside myself. How could this happen to me at 36 years old? I thought women in their 40’s would have this problem. After processing all this we decided we simply could not spend any more money so we went back to IUI’s. We did two more with no positive pregnancy test. Where did we go from here!?

During Christmas time I got a phone call from an acquaintance of mine, someone I barely know offering me her remaining four embryos. I was overcome with emotion. We had a second chance! Embryo adoption is a process of testing and legal red tape and a topic for another blog. We began to prepare for our first transfer. I was pumped! I knew this was it. I knew I would get pregnant this time. First frozen embryo transfer with donor embryo of a 3AB turned out to be a negative beta. I was crushed all over again. But, we still had three more embryos. We geared up for FET number two. This time a 3BB quality embryo. Again, another negative beta. After this negative result, I sought out yet another second opinion from yet another doctor. He recommended I go on prednisone due to my auto immune issues. I took his advice, saw my rheumatologist, and immediately got on the steroid. This brings us to today. We will be doing our final embryo transfer of two embryos, both 3BB. This will be it for us as we will be calling it quits. We are both tired of fighting. Trying to conceive is like trying to win the lottery. You endure the appointments, the needles, the hurt, the roller coaster of emotions for one chance to “win” the ultimate prize, a healthy baby. We’ve been playing the trying to conceive lottery for two years. At this point we’re about to play one more time in hopes of winning the jackpot. Trying to conceive is not for the weak and only the strong willed survive. I’ve learned how strong I am as I have had no other choice but to be strong or quit. I’ve learned nothing is a guarantee. It steals your joy in life and you begin to forget who you are. You begin to question your faith and question God. But, it will all be so worth it if my husband and I win this TTC lottery.

While in the waiting, my husband and I will foster infants. I was a foster care parent prior to getting married however, I got my first infant placement two weeks after I met my husband so he certainly has some experience. We both have a big heart for not just children but for children that need extra love. We believe fostering is a greater calling for us and a way for us to serve the Lord by helping these children and their families. We get some much joy by providing care and love for these sweet babies. We love watching them grow and providing them with experiences they normally would not get with
their parents. There are trying times with foster care though. Sometimes bio parents can be tough but that’s because they are also broken themselves. We try and support them as much as we can while caring for their child. We also struggle when they leave us and return home or move on to a relative care giver. But, in our hearts we know we have done our job and that is to love on them as much as we can and provide a safe environment for them to thrive. Foster parents are so needed. I encourage you
to seek our information from another foster care parent so that you can get a feel for the process and get your questions answered. I can promise you that you won’t regret it and you’ll find it is one of the most rewarding things you will ever do. I’m happy to answer any questions any time. You can follow me on Instagram @teambabymeadows

Trisha and Elias

Today, I am excited to bring you Trisha and Elias’ story. They’ve been through a lot together – 3 heartbreaking IVF cycles and are about to start another. Through the heartbreak, Trisha was able to do something amazing, self-publish her first poetry book! Read their story below and find the link to her book at the very bottom.
My name is Trisha, 26 and my husband’s is Elias, 29. We have been together for 6 years and married for 3. I am currently a Crisis Counselor and his is a Service Tech for a drug testing facility. We are both in school. I am four classes away from completing my Masters in Health Administration and Elias is working on his Bachelors in Criminal Justice. We are both very passionate about schooling and want to build our foundation there.
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We have been TTC for about 5 years now. I always had an irregular period but I did not think anything of it. I still thought that I would be able to get pregnant. We first tried doing away with condoms and just going with the flow. After about a year of that I knew something was wrong. I talked to my OBGYN and they prescribed Clomid. We did
6 rounds of that and nothing. I decided to talk to my PCP whom I actually worked for at the time as his front office staff.  He recommended me having a HSG done to take a look at my ovaries and my tubes. Let me tell you that had to be the worst pain of my life. I knew the instant they saw the X-rays that something was wrong. I was right. My tubes
were blocked. I remember crying so hard and not knowing what to tell my husband. I remember telling myself that I was a failure. I took some time after this. I just continued to work and busy myself. After about 6 months Elias and I talked about seeing a Reproductive Specialist.
As soon as our first appointment it was made clear that we would have to undergo IVF. This all started in July of 2017. We decided quickly that we did not want to lose anymore time. August 1st, 2017 was the day we started this journey. We picked up my medication and started what has been the most emotional roller coaster of our lives. With the Stims
everything went great. I had little to any side effects. on August 14th. 2017 I went in to have my eggs extracted. We came out with 14 eggs. 7 fertilized. 5 made it to Blastocysts. We had all 5 genetically tested and 4 out of 5 were normal. 4 boys and 1 girl
(the girl was abnormal).
On November 1st, 2017 we transferred my first little love. A boy. I was so impatient that I tested starting DPT 3. By the 6th day I was getting a faint positive. Could this be real life? My beta came back strong and we were uttered the words congratulations. I never thought we would get here. I spent the next 3 weeks loving on myself. Elias would talk to my belly every single night. It was a dream come true…
Until it wasn’t. I started getting pains in my left side. I was worried and went to see my doctor. When he decided to do an intrauterine ultrasound the first thing I noticed was how rude he was being. He had never been that way. He was also very rough when he inserted the wand. It hurt so bad. He said look there is the baby you are measuring 5 weeks and 5 days, You see the flutters of the heart beginning to form. He gave me a picture and sent me on my way. Later that night I had just taken a shower and was drying up when I saw blood all over my towel. I instantly began to cry. I knew
what was happening. I called 911. I knew there was not anything they could do but I needed to get to the hospital. Once at the hospital I remember my husband silently praying. My parents silently praying and thinking that will this much prayer I would be okay. that we would be okay. I remember them doing an ultrasound and saying that everything looked okay and for me to rest. My doctor had told me to come in the next morning to check everything. We went and as he was checking he said ” I am sorry Trish, the baby is detached and at the entrance. I am going to have them test it to see what went wrong.
I remember feeling numb. I cried all the way home. How could this be happening? After a week I went in to see the doctor again. I was desperate to start again.
We decided on Jan 11th, 2018 we would do a second transfer. My beta was negative. Again we were devastated. I did not want to stop. In secret we decided March 30th, 2017 we would transfer another. I got a negative beta once again. Why was this happening?
We are now in August and our wounds are fresh. It comes in waves. It comes in and crashes us. We have great days and then we have horrible days.
I decided that we needed a new experience and a new doctor. I wanted a fresh take on things. This friday August 17th,2018 we have a second opinion
with a new doctor. I hope that this time is different. We hope that they will have more compassion and not directly correlate my weight to all the “problems”.
I have taken this time for myself and in that process I did what I did not think I would ever do. I published my first book. A book of poetry named Beaten Soul.
It is available on Kindle and Paperback on Amazon. This book means so much to me because it refocused me. It refocused my purpose and gave me a reason to
continue this journey.
If I could lend any advice to my fellow Infertility Warriors it would be this:
Do not underestimate your strength. You may not understand now but you were made for this. We each have our own inner demons but know that if and when the time is right it will all be worth it. Whatever steps you take. Whatever mountains you face you can get through them in your own way.The needles, the hormones, timed cycles, the surgeries, the heart break, the endless POAS. It is our journey and we are not alone.
If you ever feel that you are, I am always here.
Instagram :trisharias_
To find her book, click here.